Post by Momo on Jun 3, 2016 16:20:30 GMT
Here's an editing/revision/critique/fact-checking thread for the upcoming scene of Act 8. Quirks will be done last, though they exist in this text inconsistently. Keep an eye out for characterization, speech patterns, is it interesting to read, is it fun to read, does it make you want to keep reading more, etc.
When we're done, we'll pass it on to be quirked/coded and it's ready to go up over the next week or so.
When we're done, we'll pass it on to be quirked/coded and it's ready to go up over the next week or so.
ACT 8 ACT 2 PART 1
Premise;
Lord English has vanished or fled in what appears to be a result of the use of time powers. The furthest ring crumbles towards the black hole. Vriska will leave using the turn tables, and Porrim will lead Tavros and the other ghosts to a moment in the furthest ring’s space time that will survive for a while longer. Davepeta remains to investigate the juju.
Lord English has vanished or fled in what appears to be a result of the use of time powers. The furthest ring crumbles towards the black hole. Vriska will leave using the turn tables, and Porrim will lead Tavros and the other ghosts to a moment in the furthest ring’s space time that will survive for a while longer. Davepeta remains to investigate the juju.
[Vriska, from the back, looking at black hole/where lord english once stood]
That... was it?
He's gone? He's dead?
He HAS to be dead.
We planned this PERFECTLY.
[Vriska standing in the sands as the void shakes and crumbles around her, ominous red lighting and everything. She is smiling.]
……
…Yeah! That's gotta be it!
HA-HA! Take that, you big green DOOFUS.
Not so invincible now, are you? Totally and ubiquitously vanquished! Gone for good! Enjoy not existing for the rest of forever you GIANT LOSER.
[still smiling]
…
[Vriska’s smile falls flat, or she grabs her head/otherwise emotes frustration.]
...NO!!!!!!!!
NO, THAT'S NOT GOOD ENOUGH!
[view of her with treasure juju in the background]
We HAD him!
He can't just DISAPPEAR.
Why couldn't he do us all a favor and explicitly and irrefutably DIE already?
This was supposed to 8e IT!
[Vriska turns to the juju, or we just see her jiggling the knob of the appeared door]
Helloooooooo, secret weapon! You were supposed to KILL HIM!!!!!!!!
COME ON, I KNOW YOU’RE HOLDING OUT ON ME!!!!!!!!
[Vriska banging on the door]
OPEN UP! SPARKLE! TURN INTO A COOL SWORD OR SOMETHING! YOUR DEFINITIVE PURPOSE IS TO WIPE THIS HULKING GREEN SKULL MONSTER THE FUCK OUT WITH ALL POSSIBLE GUSTO NOW AND FOR ETERNITY! YOU CAN’T JUST SIT THERE!!!!!!!!
[We zoom out to see Tavros from behind, watching her try to beat down the juju door. Reality is still totally shattering and stuff. Etc. A tone between ‘the whole world is ending’ and ‘comical hysteria’
Problem; do i show davesprite here or not]
Tavros: …
[Same shot, vriska’s tantrum continuing. Tavros hears a voice, and looks over his shoulder. In the background, Vriska vanishes via the turnables.]
Porrim: Hey.
Tavros: hUH,
[Tavros turns to face her.]
Tavros: oH, HI THERE,
T: uM, WHOEVER YOU ARE, THAT I'M NOT TOO FAMILIAR WITH, SPECIFICALLY
T: sORRY IF I'VE FORGOTTEN YOUR NAME, THAT IS A THING THAT IS NOT INTENTIONAL, AND MORE OF A THING THAT JUST HAPPENS WHEN, THERE ARE ALL OF THESE GHOSTS AROUND,
Porrim: Po+rrim.
T: oH, THANKS,
T: i'M TAVROS,
P: Yes, I kno+w.
P: There's no+t much time for intro+ductions.
P: We have to leave this area o+f the furthest ring.
P: And we’d really better do+ it quickly.
T: oh, yeah, that makes sense, with what's happening, I think.
P: if you come with me, the others are likely to follow your example.
P: So+ I figured i’d save myself the time and come to you directly.
T: oH, SURE.
T: uM,
T: bY THE WAY, wAS YOUR HAIR, ALWAYS LIKE THAT,
P: ...
P: What an incredibly o+dd question to be asking right now.
T: sORRY,
P: No+, it’s fine.
P: But we really can’t stay fo+r any longer.
P: Not with existence crumbling aro+und us as we speak.
[Not sure if we bother dealing with davepeta or just have em do their thing at the end but if we do deal, here’s where it is.]
T: [turning to speak to a davepetasprite] Are you coming?
DP: nah
DP: there’s something i want to check first!
DP: you guys go on ahead
DP: im sure it’ll be fine.
T: uM, IF YOU SAY SO
P: *ahem*
T: sORRY, AGAIN
P: No+, it’s fine.
P: It’s no+t like anything super critical is happening at the mo+ment.
T: hEH, }:]
[tavros is following porrim through the shattering furthest ring, there are some far shots that show us the decamated landscape]
T: aRE WE ESCAPING, THOSE CRACKS IN THE SKY?
P: No+pe.
P: That would be exceptionally impossible.
P: We're fleeing to a moment in the furthest ring that the boundary of oblivion will approach at an imperceptible rate, to await the inevitable
T: I SEE, KIND OF,
T: wELL NOT REALLY THAT MUCH, BUT MAYBE, IN A ROUNDABOUT WAY,
T: wHICH IS TO SAY, NOT AT ALL,
P: It's no+t your fault.
P: I'm being vague about concepts that are abstract to begin with.
P: But I could try being a bit more specific as we walk, if you really want.
T: yES, PLEASE,
[More walking]
P: Alright.
P: Long ago I received visions from Skaia, along with cryptic messages of guidance from my denizen.
P: Many of those visions and clues didn't make any sense until the context of this moment.
P: In fact, I'd even dismissed them as trivial details. But now, I'm keenly aware of what it was she expected me to do.
T: wHICH IS,,,
P: To claim the stage where the end will play out.
T: iS THAT A METAPHOR, OR, A REAL THING, THAT YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT,
P: Both, I think.
P: The furthest ring is comprised of extremely difficult geometry.
P: And the pocket of the green sun's destruction will peel away at the edges of these unknowable shapes until nothing remains, an acropetal boundary approaching the peripheral center.
P: For all intents and purposes, this is an event that has already happened.
P: But in some places, it is an event so far away as to never happen at all.
P: Not like that changes anything, this whole place is still entirely doomed.
P: Does that make sense?
T: nOT, AT ALL,
P: That's alright, it doesn't have to.
T: oKAY,
[New Panel, more walk, closer this time]
T: dO YOU KNOW, WHAT HAPPENED TO LORD ENGLISH?
P: I'm afraid no+t.
T: hE'S NOT GOING TO JUST, REAPPEAR SOMEWHERE, IS HE?
P: I do+n't think so.
P: Unleashing the treasure juju was definitely significant.
P: That much I'm sure o+f.
P: But beyo+nd that, I can o+nly guess.
T: hMMM,
T: sO, WE PROBABLY DEFINITELY WON THEN, RIGHT?
P: “Probably definitely” is as go+o+d as true with lack o+f co+ntrary evidence.
T: oH MAN, AWESOME.
T: it WAS, A REALLY COOL THING, THAT I WAS PROUD TO DO, AND BE A PART OF,
T: aND I DO THINK WE SHOWED HIM, A THING OR TWO, NO MATTER WHAT ELSE IT WAS THAT WAS GOING ON,
T: sO AT LEAST, WE HAVE THAT,
P: Heh.
T: ?
P: It's no+thing.
P: Yo+u just so+und like so+mebody I kno+w.
[Porrim and tavros arrive at a destination that looks basically the same as the desert where they were, except the ominous red destruction is far away on the horizon.)
P: Alright. This is it.
[Tavros looks towards the horizon again; the destruction is very evident and encroaching]
T: it doesn't seem like, we’ve gone that far,
P: Distance and chronology are non-linear factors in the furthest ring.
P: Especially now, where the curves of its typical geometry are being segmented by the green sun's destruction.
P: Events that will take place, have taken place, and have yet to take place might be perceived in any order in space time.
P: In truth, it’s more accurate to say they all exist simultaneously.
P: If you know where to stand.
P: That kind of navigation would be difficult if not impossible for anyone but the most astute of space or light players, I think.
P: And even more difficult now when so much of it is vanishing beyond the event horizon.
P: But if we stay still, from our perspective, the unavoidable outcome will remain very far away indeed.
T: oh, um, that's cool,
T: and what, are we going to do here?
P: I'm not sure you and I do anything specifically.
P: But because of Echidna's involvement, I can only assume our presence here is somehow important to the creation of further universes.
[we zoom in towards the destruction; tavros and porrim are now off-frame]
T: so I guess that means, we'll have to wait and see?
P: Yes.
[we see the treasure juju sitting on its last fragment of spacetime. Davepeta lingers before it]
P: I suppose we will.
[davepeta’s face as they look towards the juju]
[we see the juju with a flickering time symbol; davepeta is facing the back of dave’s square.]
[They place their hand on it.]